Editing and Revision
Parent: Writing and Documentation · Published reference · snapshot 2026-09-08 · skill writing-expert/references/editing-and-revision.md
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When invoked: the user submits existing prose. Return the revised text, complete and drop-in ready, followed by a brief pass log noting which passes were applied and what was changed.
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Editing and Revision
- When invoked: the user submits existing prose. Return the revised text, complete and drop-in ready, followed by a brief pass log noting which passes were applied and what was changed. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#editing-and-revision]
The Multi-Pass Methodology
- Work top-down. Fix the largest problems before polishing sentences. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#the-multi-pass-methodology]
- Pass 1 - Structural. Does the argument hold? Is the order defensible? [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#the-multi-pass-methodology]
- Pass 2 - Paragraph. Does each paragraph have one job? [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#the-multi-pass-methodology]
- Pass 3 - Sentence. Apply the verb-first pass, active-voice scan, and cohesion check. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#the-multi-pass-methodology]
- Pass 4 - Word. Nominalizations, hedges, redundant pairs, filler phrases. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#the-multi-pass-methodology]
1. Actions in Verbs, Not Nouns — Kill Nominalizations
- Spot them: look for Latinate nouns ending in -tion, -ment, -ance, -ence, -ity, -ness that have living verbs inside them. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#1-actions-in-verbs-not-nouns-kill-nominalizations]
- Before: The committee engaged in a discussion of the proposal. After: The committee discussed the proposal. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#1-actions-in-verbs-not-nouns-kill-nominalizations]
2. Characters in Subjects
- Before: It was determined by the review board that the application was deficient. After: The review board found the application deficient. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#2-characters-in-subjects]
3. Cohesion — Old Information Before New
- The beginning of a sentence anchors the reader to what they know; the end delivers new payload. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#3-cohesion-old-information-before-new]
4. Emphasis — Put the Most Important Content at the End
- The end of a sentence is its stress position. If your sentence ends on a qualifier, a parenthetical, or filler, you have surrendered emphasis. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#4-emphasis-put-the-most-important-content-at-the-end]
5. Concision — Cut Metadiscourse, Hedges, Redundant Pairs
- Metadiscourse - sentences about the text: It is important to note that, As I mentioned above. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#5-concision-cut-metadiscourse-hedges-redundant-pairs]
- Hedges - it could be argued that, it seems as if, in some sense. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#5-concision-cut-metadiscourse-hedges-redundant-pairs]
- Redundant pairs - each and every, null and void, true and accurate. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#5-concision-cut-metadiscourse-hedges-redundant-pairs]
6. Shape — Long Sentences Need Architecture
- Find every sentence over two lines. Read it aloud. If you lose the thread before the period, break it or add a visible frame. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#6-shape-long-sentences-need-architecture]
7. Elegance — Rhythm, Balance, Parallelism
- Before: We need to improve morale, reduce attrition, and the onboarding process should be shortened. After: We need to improve morale, reduce attrition, and shorten onboarding. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#7-elegance-rhythm-balance-parallelism]
The Verb-First Pass
- Scan every sentence. Locate the main verb. If the verb is a form of be plus a nominalization, extract the hidden verb and rebuild. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#the-verb-first-pass]
The Cut-30% Pass
- Set a target: 30% of words on the cutting room floor. King: "Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler's heart." [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#the-cut-30-pass]
The Active-Voice Pass
- Search the draft for every was and were followed by a past participle. For each instance, decide: (1) Is the actor unknown or genuinely irrelevant? Keep passive. (2) Is the actor known and relevant? Rewrite in active voice. (3) Is the passive hiding accountability? Rewrite. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#the-active-voice-pass]
The Paragraph-Coherence Pass
- Print or copy only the first sentence of each paragraph. Read those sentences as a standalone document. Ask: Does the sequence form an argument? Are any two sentences redundant? [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#the-paragraph-coherence-pass]
The Topic-Sentence-First Pass
- For every paragraph, ask: is the point in the first sentence, or is it buried? [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#the-topic-sentence-first-pass]
The Floor Rule — When to Stop Cutting
- A reader would need to re-read to recover the missing context. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#the-floor-rule-when-to-stop-cutting]
- The sentence no longer names its subject. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#the-floor-rule-when-to-stop-cutting]
- Parallel structure has been broken to save words. [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#the-floor-rule-when-to-stop-cutting]
Quick Diagnostic Checklist
- [ ] Structural pass complete - argument skeleton valid [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#quick-diagnostic-checklist]
- [ ] Every paragraph has a first sentence that states its point [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#quick-diagnostic-checklist]
- [ ] No nominalizations where a verb is available [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#quick-diagnostic-checklist]
- [ ] Every sentence's subject names the actor [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#quick-diagnostic-checklist]
- [ ] Key content lands at sentence end, not middle [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#quick-diagnostic-checklist]
- [ ] Every was/were + past participle audited [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#quick-diagnostic-checklist]
- [ ] Metadiscourse, hedges, and redundant pairs cut [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#quick-diagnostic-checklist]
- [ ] Long sentences (>35 words) have visible architecture [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#quick-diagnostic-checklist]
- [ ] Parallel items are grammatically parallel [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#quick-diagnostic-checklist]
- [ ] 30% cut target met [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#quick-diagnostic-checklist]
- [ ] Read aloud complete - no stumbles remain [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#quick-diagnostic-checklist]
Sources
- Joseph M. Williams, "Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace" (12th ed.) [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#sources]
- William Strunk Jr. & E.B. White, "The Elements of Style" [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#sources]
- Stephen King, "On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft" [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#sources]
- Steven Pinker, "The Sense of Style" [archived source: https://llms-explorer.com/sources/mdb-context-hub/editing-and-revision/#sources]
Where this helps
- A finished draft exists and needs to be tightened and clarified before it ships — this is a revision discipline, not a drafting one, so it assumes prose already exists. [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
- A document reads as bureaucratic or evasive because it's built on nominalizations and passive constructions that hide who did what. [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
- A paragraph is technically correct but hard to follow because old information isn't set up before new information arrives, breaking the reader's sense of continuity. [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
- A piece needs to be cut by a meaningful percentage without losing its argument — the Cut-30% pass targets exactly this without gutting the content. [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
How to apply this
- Run the Verb-First pass: hunt Latinate nouns ending in -tion, -ment, -ance, -ence, -ity, -ness for a living verb hiding inside, and rewrite the sentence around that verb. [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
- Run the Active-Voice pass paired with 'characters in subjects' — replace constructions like 'it was determined by the review board' with 'the review board found.' [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
- Apply the cohesion check sentence by sentence: does each sentence open on something the reader already knows before introducing something new? [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
- Apply the Floor Rule when cutting — stop trimming once further cuts would remove information the reader needs, not just when the sentence looks shorter. [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
Antipatterns
- Editing top-down out of order — polishing sentence-level word choice before the structural pass has confirmed the argument itself holds together. [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
- Cutting words for the sake of brevity past the Floor Rule, which strips out information the reader actually needs rather than genuine padding. [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
- Leaving the most important content buried mid-sentence instead of at the stress position (the end), which quietly de-emphasizes the point the sentence exists to make. [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
- Treating passive voice as always wrong — some passive constructions correctly de-emphasize an unimportant actor; the rule is 'characters in subjects' when the actor matters, not a blanket ban. [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
Known issues
- The methodology assumes an existing draft to revise; it has no drafting-stage guidance of its own and hands off to a generative pass elsewhere in the writing workflow. [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
- Nominalization-hunting can over-fire on legitimate technical nouns (e.g., 'documentation', 'configuration') that have no natural living-verb replacement in context. [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
- Multiple sequential passes (structural, paragraph, verb-first, cut-30%, active-voice) take real time; applying all of them to a short, low-stakes piece is often overkill. [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
- The Floor Rule requires judgment about what the reader needs, which isn't mechanically checkable — two editors can disagree on where the floor actually is. [source] — AI-suggested, synthesized from this pack's existing facts — not extracted from a source document.
Children
- Four editing types (developmental, line, copy, proofreading) (frontier)
- Multi-pass top-down methodology (structural → paragraph → sentence → word) (frontier)
- Nominalization elimination (Williams) (frontier)
- Given/New contract (Williams) (frontier)
- Verb-first pass (frontier)
- Active-voice scan (frontier)
- Cut-30% pass (frontier)
- Paragraph-coherence pass (frontier)
- Topic-sentence-first pass (frontier)
Frontier under this node: Active-voice scan, Cut-30% pass, Four editing types (developmental, line, copy, proofreading), Given/New contract (Williams), Multi-pass top-down methodology (structural → paragraph → sentence → word), Nominalization elimination (Williams), Paragraph-coherence pass, Topic-sentence-first pass, Verb-first pass